Who Do You Say I AM? (Sts. Peter & Paul Homily)

Let’s imagine that the disciples are traveling with Jesus. Suddenly Jesus turns around and asks them, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” First they mumble and try to say something that they have heard. “Some say John the Baptist, others Elijah, still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” Jesus doesn’t comment on these opinions at all, probably knowing what they are to say, rather, he intently looks at them and asks, “Who do you say that I am?”

Now I ask you in the name of Jesus, “Who do you say that I am?” (Interacting with people, listening to their answers and asking ‘why do you say that?’)

 

“Who do you say that I am?” This is not only the ultimate question that we Christians must answer but also the challenging question that we Christians must find an answer on our own. In order to ratify this statement, let me invite St. Peter to our pulpit.

 

(St. Peter speaks) Good evening/morning, everyone. I am Peter the apostle for whom with St. Paul you celebrate the solemn feast today. I am truly honored to be remembered as the leader of the apostles and the rock upon which my Lord built the church. But today I would like to bring up something you never find in the gospel unless you understand my whole life with my Lord.

 

When my Lord asked, “Who do you say that I am?” unlikely many believe, I was not the one who gave the famous answer—“You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” because the author of the gospel of Matthew wanted to describe me as the leader of the apostles, so he chose me to speak the poignant profession on Jesus. It didn’t actually matter whether I said it or not for you can find what I was thinking in the following passage of the gospel. Right after the profession, Jesus revealed the first prediction of the Passion to the apostles. And I took him aside and said to him “God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.” Oh, how foolish I was, not trusting his words and putting my own agenda for the Lord! Now I become truly grateful to remember the Lord’s rebuke, “Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.” And he continued on saying, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” It really took for a long time to understand these words. As you know, I ran away, leaving my Lord to the Romans who killed him, while betraying him tree times. I, once called Satan by the Lord, confess before you, this is truer about me. Although saved from the crucifixion, my life was not the same anymore. I was dead as well.

 

However, the resurrection came to me. When the Lord was raised from the dead, he didn’t forget me. One morning my Lord showed up on the seashore, saying to me, “Come, have breakfast.” My Lord took the bread and gave it to me, and in like manner the fish. It was the same peaceful regular breakfast we had all the time. We walked along the seashore after the breakfast. I had nothing to say, thinking about my betrayal. Thankfully, my Lord opened his mouth first, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” It was another challenging question I had to answer like “Who do you say that I am?” because it could be my last chance to express how much I loved my Lord. “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” But my Lord asked the same question again and again. My heart became numb. I instinctively knew I didn’t hit the nail and my Lord actually knew myself better than me. But what else could I say? “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”

 

My dear friends, can you see why I started talking of Jesus’ question—“Who do you say that I am?” and my last encounter with him? My faith journey was nothing but to know the difference between knowing about Jesus and knowing Jesus himself and to move from informative knowledge to transformative knowledge. I probably knew Jesus was special as a miracle worker, possibly the Son of God like many said. But that didn’t affect me at all because it was all about information with many ideas until I suffered with my own weakness and was transformed by confessing with humility, “You know everything, Lord, that I love you.” It was my personal encounter with the Lord nothing like what I heard. And the more important thing is that it was not ended in words. It entailed my action to prove as my Lord asked, “Follow me.” As my colleague St. Paul rightly put it, “I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.” It is all about life-long commitment in personal relationship with the Lord.

 

“Who do you say that I am?” You need to find your own answer for this question. And it will take a lot of courage on your part in trying to answer. You may mumble first and convey others’ answers. It is OK. However, only your own words can keep you steadfast in difficult times and lead you to the deeper encounter with the Lord. Thanking for his kind invitation for me, I hope Fr. H.Paul has found his own answer for this. Let us praise the name of the Lord for he is good always.

 

(After the final prayer) Peter’s faith journey was nothing but his personal discovery of who Jesus was to him. In this sense, we are all called to find our own answer for “Who do you say that I am?” To me, Jesus is my best friend because I truly believe that the core of priesthood is being a friend of Jesus Christ as Pope Benedict said and there is nothing more beautiful than to know him and to speak to others of our friendship with him. That’s why I need to pray to know him deeper and deeper and to encounter who the Father is through him.

Message from Madagascar!

Received the money and THANKS!

Dear Rev. H Paul 

We have received the money you had sent and we were able to buy  about two tons of rice!!

The school will be closing in the month of July and then two months holiday and will restart on September also will be reopening the center in Tsiazotafo in our home the center stopped for a year so we will have about more than 1000 children next term and as the world (food) crisis is affecting us we just trust and pray that God who created will provide and take care of the poor. It is the greed of some which make the poor suffer so God hears the cry of the poor too.

We THANK you and your companions who are struggling to get some money for the poor children. God will reward you 1000 times and more . We are continually praying for you.

Love and greetings to all.

Br. Emmanuel

Today I have received e-mail from Br. Emmanuel who is in charge of the orphanage in Madagascar. He said he has received the money and bought two tons of rice for the children! How wonderful it is! In fact, we have raised $837 in the name of the Living Man IV and wired it through Center for Pastoral Leadership in the diocese of Cleveland.

I wish to express my big thanks for all participants in the name of Living Man IV for this great occasion. We believe that we have been enriched as well by sharing our time, talent and treasure with the poor. 

May God continually cherish the zeal and compassion of Living Man!

Faithfully in Christ

Living Man Fr. H.Paul

Cancer - 12th Sunday Homily

“Cancer”, when we hear this word, entails many thoughts embedded in us—chemo, radiation, surgery, uncertainty, desperate fighting, despair, maybe hope, and sudden death. When we hear this word unexpectedly, while asking what kind of cancer and how bad it is, we usually find ourselves feeling powerless before the news. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do and how you have lived, cancer just comes and seems to take lives away from us. Although we make best efforts to prevent or avoid it, many of us are still vulnerable because we have experienced it either directly or indirectly anyway. We are afraid of cancer, even something cancerous!

Two weeks before my ordination last year, I got a call from my friend, a Benedictine sister, saying that my friend Sr. Paul was diagnosed with stomach cancer which was very malignant between the third or fourth stage. After hanging up the phone, I recalled my first encounter with Sr. Paul. When I was first year at the seminary in Korea, our archbishop invited all novitiates in the archdiocese and first and second year seminarians to dinner to encourage our vocations to the religious life and the priesthood. The novitiates and seminarians were mingled at the dinner table. I sat with a Benedictine sister. After the dinner, we talked to each other and were surprised to find out that we were classmates at the same parish. From then we became a companion, supporting and praying for each other. She took her final vow in 2005 and started working as a campus minister while I was studying in Cleveland. Anyway, the surgery was scheduled a week before my ordination. And when I prostrated on the sanctuary during the litany of saints, I prayed three wishes to God. One of them was asking God to heal my dear friend Sr. Paul from cancer which I believed unfair for such a young sister.

The first person, besides my parents, I met during my visit to Korea after the ordination was Sr. Paul in the hospital. She was in recuperation after the surgery and six straight chemos were on the way. Over a month, I often visited her and we talked about our vocation in God’s providence and sometimes death. No body knew how the treatment ended up. She seemed to be OK with chemo. In the midst of that, I planned a picnic with her and finally got the permission from the superior general. At that time, I thought about the Korean poem that says life is a picnic; we come and enjoy it for a while and then go back our eternal home, believing it could be our last chance to go on a picnic together. I had to come back to the United States when she was ready for her last chemo.

Jesus said today, “Do not be afraid” three times in the gospel, assuring us that God even knows all the hairs of our head. It deeply touches me because God knows how many hairs of those who in chemo and radiation are lost and would cry for their loss.

After one year from Sr. Paul’s surgery and treatment, she sent an e-mail to me, sharing her feeling and insight in life with cancer. The letter begins.

“I have lived a year given to me like a bonus. It seems nothing happened. Rather, I have enjoyed reading the books I wanted to read, praying without distraction, walking in nature, being loved by many and being happy in the knowledge of God’s presence. I sometimes feel sorry because I am the only comfortable one in the convent; nevertheless, the sisters thank me for I walk with smile. I don’t know why I become like this…but I am grateful anyway…

Cancer has enriched my life with beauty. Many become a part of my journey with prayer and love and I feel God’s unknown presence…I don’t know why cancer came to me. But I do know everything coming from God is a gift that reveals the heart of God who carefully chooses gift for his lover. I know God’s gift is always beneficial and good to me. If someone says the cancer came because of my sin, I am grateful to have a time to repent. If someone says it expiates sins on behalf of others, I am grateful to be a part of Christ’s redemptive suffering. If someone says it is for the glory of God, I am truly grateful for being chosen to be God’s instrument. So I am grateful all the time…

Someone asked me not long ago if I was afraid of dying. I said, ‘I don’t know exactly. But I wouldn’t be afraid’…I know everyone dies. It is a just matter of time. I think death would be fearful when we try to run away from it…But once I received it, I am not afraid anymore… Actually I have many dreams to come true: many works to do, many people to love and to be with. But I have seen one of my dreams come true these days. Some say to me that they see hope through me—the hope that Jesus has given to the despair. This is my happiness…I believe God has taught me through St. Paul’s words. ‘I have learned, in whatever situation I find myself, to be self-sufficient. I know indeed how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need. I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me’ (Phil. 4:11-13). It is really true to me. No one takes away my happiness because God is my happiness in me and the Lord is suffering with me.”

 

Also being grateful, I have been humbled to be a friend to the simple and holy sister. And now I have courage to say that cancer could be a part of our life and even welcomed as a gift from God who always gives us the best for us. As Job said, “Naked I came forth from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall go back again. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord! We accept good things from God; and should we not accept evil?” (Job 1:21, 2:10) Once we accept death, there is nothing to be afraid of and, since Jesus Christ who freely accepted death and was raised from it is our Lord, what do we need to be afraid?

Mercy is the sea in which we swim (10th Ordinary Sunday Homily)

The Calling of St. Matthew by Caravaggio

(Sigh, sitting on the steps of the altar) You know, people called me Matthew the betrayer. Honestly I didn’t care about other’s opinion at all because I knew ultimately money can talk and success will prevail over any humane things. So I had worked hard to be approved by the Romans, squeezing my people to collect more taxes. It was not easy quite often to endure the people’s cold staring, despise, and sometimes swearing. They just didn’t get why I worked for the Romans. Think about what if I gave up my profession! The Romans will find another who could be much worse than me. At least I have a good heart, not taking anything unnecessary and really harmful from the people. I had been very shrewd as well as efficient in placing myself between the Romans and my people. That’s why I had reached to the highest position in the customs post, supervising other-Matthew-the-betrayers-to-be, so to speak. 

However, something was not right. After all those years of hard working and difficult choices, although I got money and fame being successful, but my heart couldn’t rest. It was just unexplainable because I got everything I needed to be happy since I didn’t care about other’s ideas. Instead, confusion and sadness overwhelmed me. Confused because I wondered why I spent all my youth and energy to be like this and sad because young workers looked up to me as if I were their hero. I felt uneasy. It might be true, someone said, “I am condemned.”

I am religious as well like the pious Pharisees although they think I am unclean, impure and sinful. I was raised a pious Jew who learned the laws and regulations and followed them with all my heart. I didn’t know where I got lost. Maybe one of the reasons for that would be I didn’t love my neighbors as myself. However, the unwavering trust in God remained in me and it probably led me to the unexpected encounter on one sunny day. Like the other days, I was uneasy and disappointed by watching the young tax collectors who tried to do their best to be successful, threatening and intimidating poor people to get more money in the name of the emperor. Looking outside, I found myself wishing to sit down under the warm sun which I did. Going out of my customs post and letting myself be exposed to the unknown would be grace, I am sure because “The gates of hell are locked from the inside” and I was the one who could open myself to be found…literally to be found! I probably waited for something, something that could fulfill my uneasy heart. But what was coming to me was much greater than that. It was not something but someone…no, the one named Jesus. When I saw someone coming to me, I immediately knew who he was although I couldn’t see his face because of the bright sunshine behind him. If you have seen the painting called “The calling of St. Matthew” painted by Caravaggio, you will understand what I am saying. Jesus brought the true light to the dark space of the sitting tax-collectors. His hand gesture pointing toward me was like the hand as God awakens Adam in Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam. I knew I couldn’t resist this powerful calling even though my finger pointed to my colleague as if I were not found. I realized I stood on holy ground like our great ancestor Moses’ encounter with God. 

(Standing up) It changed everything. I should say it transformed myself to trust in God’s mercy more than ever. God is not vengeful at all. His kindness and generosity toward sinners are overwhelming. It was such a powerful experience to see that my colleagues who had been called sinners like me gathered around the table and ate with Jesus, the Son of God. How could I possibly find more trustful evidence that God doesn’t desert the sinners besides this table fellowship? God desired the undesirable people, putting himself in the same table. If the church is made up of the righteous and sinners, I have found the house of the Church in my house, of which Jesus is the center and participate in its table fellowship with sinners. I am sure that’s why you are here in the table of fellowship as well. What a surprise of God’s amazing grace!

I, once Matthew the betrayer, now clearly see. When my heart condemned me, my actions and thoughts were unacceptable. In my negative evaluation of myself, I had been confused who I was with what I had done. It is the best thing I have found in my life that God is greater than our hearts and I am not defined by my actions and consequences; rather, the mercy of God reminds me that I am not an irredeemable sinner but a temporarily lost son. I can rest at last and be renewed in the steadfast love of God, a mercy that softens my fierce and narrow condemnations. It focuses more on my fortitude, the choices I have made, and the paths I have taken than on my sinfulness, evil actions and their consequences. Someone said, “Man in his weakness and shortsightedness believes he must make choices in this life. He trembles at the risk he takes. We do know fear. But no. Our choice is of no importance. There comes a time when our eyes are opened. And we come to realize that mercy is infinite. We need only await it with confidence and receive it with gratitude. Mercy imposes no conditions. And, lo! Everything we have chosen has been granted to us. And everything we rejected has also been granted. Yes, we get back even what we rejected. For mercy and truth have met together. Righteousness and bliss shall kiss one another.” 

Thank you for listening to my long story. I hope it touches your heart and transforms it like mine. Don’t forget that we are like fish and God’s mercy is the sea in which we swim.

The two questions you need to answer when you die

Today I buried the man named Casmer Swiencki who died on May 31 at the age of 93. For his funeral I wrote this homily because his life has revealed the truth that we need to hear and answer someday for ourselves. So I want to share the story with you.

Many say that life is a journey; an adventurous journey as Helen Keller said, life is either an adventurous journey or it’s nothing. For Casey, he had traveled with such an adventurous spirit, exploring to find how to live his life to the fullest at every moment. I am sure that he has given us a valuable lesson to see what life is meant to be.

Whether we admit or not, we are all sojourners on earth, temporary and limited in space and time. We have been sent by someone to experience life on purpose. It could be God’s dream for us or our mission on earth. But how often do we act as if we live on earth forever? For those who strive to find eternal life in mortal reality, Casey seems to be dead because they don’t have any hope after this life. However, we believe that the souls of the just are in the hands of God and no torment shall touch them. After the joy and suffering, the soul of Casey is in the hands of God, finding a home at last. He is in peace because life journey is supposed to end at some point. By knowing that, the people of God are able to be adventurous and humorous like Casey. He knew that our life on earth is limited and is not meant to be weary; rather, it should be joyful. For someone who truly knows death somehow can enjoy life because life goes along with death all the time. Only plastic flowers never die. All the living enjoys a moment of being alive, singing, dancing, and praising their creator. Casey loves all the living including birds. I have never seen any birds look tired or weary because it is full of life. Casey knew this, so he loved it so much.

The adventurous spirit never fades. It flourishes by itself, so Casey had built many things out of passion. If someone loves, his love shines forth so that others recognize he is fully alive. His many crafts are an evidence of it. And the truly adventurous soul never fails to laugh. First of all, he is able to laugh at himself. He doesn’t take himself seriously like he doesn’t take life and death seriously because he knows it is all up to God. Once you let things go, how free of your soul! Casey had enjoyed the freedom of soul that let things be as it is, so he enjoyed joking around, bringing smile and happiness to others. Here it reminds me of the movie “The Bucket List” that the two terminally ill friends travel to Egypt to see the magnificent pyramids. They talk about the ancient Egyptians who believed that when they come to the gates of paradise in the afterlife, they will be asked two questions, the answers to which will determine whether or not they are admitted. The first is, “Have you found joy in your life?” And the second question turns out to be similar: “Have you brought joy to others in your life?” I think if Casey heard these questions, he would smile. His life itself was a joy to others, we truly believe.

However, after all, this is still hard for us to let our beloved go which means our need to say goodbye to Casey in human language. We won’t see him again and there won’t be the same laugh and gathering anymore. Nevertheless, we believe that, in God’s love, Casey finds much more joy than ever, waiting for us to join him. And our final consolation is not anything about his achievement but his sincere heart in men and faith in God. He prayed the Lord’s Prayer day after day so that it can be his prayer forever. His firm belief in God will lead him to God. We now come to know that life is a journey and it is not all about us but about God who generously shares His life with us through love and takes it back in an appointed time. We are grateful for this wonderful life; we are thankful for gifts of joy and love in Casey’s life and death; we are joyful for laughter and fun even sorrow we have had with Casey, God’s beloved son. Now we let him go, praying for him to be at peace in God. And we also pray for the remained, especially Rose after seventy-years long marriage. May God’s peace and happiness be with him forever. Amen.